Rantings of a Road Warrior

I received these in an email, for com­edy value I am post­ing it here

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North Amer­ica .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Cor­rect. Now class, who dis­cov­ered Amer­ica ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math mul­ti­pli­ca­tion on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it with­out using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘croc­o­dile?‘
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Don­ald, what is the chem­i­cal for­mula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talk­ing about?
DONALD: Yes­ter­day you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER: Win­nie, name one impor­tant thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Mil­lie, give me a sen­tence start­ing with ’ I. ‘
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Mil­lie.…. Always say, ‘I am.‘
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth let­ter of the alpha­bet.‘
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TEACHER: George Wash­ing­ton not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admit­ted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t pun­ish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eat­ing?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your com­po­si­tion on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a per­son who keeps on talk­ing when peo­ple are no longer inter­ested?
HAROLD: A teacher

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